Responding to Conflict with Caution and Courage

“But Jesus remained silent. And the high priest said to Him, ‘I charge you by the living God, tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God.'” (Matthew 26:63)

Jesus knew that He was the Son of God, yet He also had the wisdom to know that if He said Yes, their hearts were rebellious, and would immediately accuse Him of blasphemy.

Despite the phenomenal miracles Jesus performed, including raising Lazarus from the dead, the Jewish leaders, Pharisees, Sadducees, and their devout followers would never accept Him as anything other than the son of Joseph, the poor carpenter, who lived in Nazareth.

Jesus’ earthly purpose of dying on Calvary’s Cross to redeem humanity from death—the wages of sin remained His priority. If Jesus answered, Yes, His accusers would have stoned Him to death, resulting in the failure to fulfill the Plan of Redemption.

“Jesus demonstrated humility, submitting to God’s plan, revealing His identity on His own terms, rather than defending Himself against false accusations or questioning by authorities like the high priest and Pilate, showing profound love and obedience to God,  His Father.”

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” (James 1:26, NIV).

Inciting anger in believers is a significant part of the enemy’s spiritual warfare against those who love God. One of Satan’s most effective ways to entice us to sin is by using familiar people [family and friends] to offend us. The word choice, tone, and volume of our voices are effective weapons used to accuse, disrespect, demean, annihilate one’s self-worth, and defame one’s character.

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God…Have nothing to do with such people.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, NIV).

Yes, we are living in the Last Days, in a time where abusive communication has become an acceptable practice in our societies. Yet, God specifically addresses how Christians are to communicate even when we are attacked with fiery words:

“But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8, Amplified Bible).

“[Verbal] Abuse is always sin. The Scriptures are clear. Abuse of authority or power…is always sin. Abusive speech and/or behavior are never an acceptable way to communicate with someone.”

God’s Warning: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Proverbs 18:21, ESV).

Many who attend church were raised in a home that included arguing and debating, and cultures in which it is a common practice for Christian parents, husbands, or older family members to verbally abuse their children, wives, and relatives, still God considers it sinful and unacceptable behavior.

Conflict is always fueled by uncontrolled anger. Domestic conflict has claimed the lives of many innocent victims, including church members. Never overlook threatening words—remain silent, remove yourself from the offender, and notify the police. It takes courage to say, “Enough is Enough!” And, it may result in saving your life.

“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the LORD.” (Romans 12:19, NLT).

One thing is for certain: Believers who use their words as weapons will eat the fruits of their behavior—they will experience earthly consequences, loss of employment, relationships, marriages, and often their freedom [incarceration] from using threatening words, which is assault—and most importantly, they lose their reward of Eternal Life.

“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe.” (Proverbs 18:10). “For the Lord loves justice; He will not forsake his saints.”(Psalm 37:28). Because we are created in the image of God, and He loves us, God does not expect us to remain in abusive situations.

With faith, pray, and ask God to deliver you. We have a Loving Heavenly Father who promises to free us from the bondage of abuse. Never believe that staying in an abusive situation is your only option.

Conflict also occurs in environments outside the home, but it may be unrecognized because covert strategies are used. People frequently use humor to provoke anger.

There are many psychological techniques for Conflict Resolution, yet, for believers, God has given us His Divine Commands on Conflict Resolution.

“Know this, my beloved brothers [and sisters]: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20).

In a world of cruelty, abuse, and violence, when antagonistic words are freely spoken, it is our Christian duty to represent to others that we belong to Jesus Christ by remaining silent.

“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” (Exodus 14:14). Courage, Faith, and Steadfast Belief in God’s Power are demonstrated when we pray instead of responding. Unbelievers may perceive silence as weakness, but faithful obedience reveals our love and loyalty to God.

Conflict on the job is often experienced in employee break areas. In Micah 6:8, God tells us to stand for justice. It is our responsibility to document the incident, send an email to the immediate supervisor, and Human Resources to ensure compliance with the company’s policies.

“It takes the right situation to reveal a person’s true character.” When our hearts are converted and the Holy Spirit dwells within us, when confronted, we exercise discipline and self-control by remaining silent.

Yes, God expects us to take the appropriate actions to report conflict, but Christians must never retaliate with verbal sparring. Our response to conflict immediately reveals our character’s weaknesses, and most importantly, identifies whether or not we are true followers of Christ by obeying His commands.

Do not let your emotions cause you to sin by responding with anger and dishonoring God! We can apologize, but we can never retract spoken or written words.

“Ineffective Witnessing: Sinful actions by believers make God’s Holy and Righteous Name look bad to the world, bringing reproach on His love and mercies. (Psalm 69:6-7).”

From arguing, we not only lose our ability to witness the love of God, but we also lose our credibility as Christians and respect from unbelievers who silently observed our usual demeanor of kindness and self-control.

God’s Righteous Guidance on Conflict Resolution: “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23).

As the individual is speaking, or if you are reading a text message, remain silent, and immediately pray for guidance and the strength to silence your emotions, anger, and/or hurt. If you are on a phone call, the moment you sense hostility, immediately respond with, “God loves you, I am hanging up.”

Anger and Hostility Always Override Rational Thought Processes

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in disclosing what is on his mind.” (Proverbs 18:12).

Fact: A person who is speaking offensive words is driven by negative emotions and does not have the mindset to be involved in a rational conversation. When they finish speaking, they are prepared to participate in an argument.

In John 8:44, Jesus describes Satan as ‘the father of lies,’ revealing his deceptive nature. Satan’s primary goal is to keep us annoyed, upset, and angry, which represents his unrighteous character, and brings shame and disgrace to the Name of God.

The Apostle Paul tells us to “Be angry and do not sin,” and “Let no corrupt words proceed out of your mouth.” To be honest, brothers and sisters, we cannot exercise that type of righteous self-control without the Divine Help and Strength from the Holy Spirit.

“Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8, Amplified Bible).

The Apostle Peter used “this imagery to highlight the devil’s dangerous, relentless, and predatory nature, urging Christians to be alert, stand firm in their faith, and resist him.”

If our goal is to receive our reward of Eternal Life in the New Heaven and New Earth, where only love, peace, joy, and happiness will exist, then we must embrace God’s warning: “for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Remember: Stay Silent! God Always Wins! Peace and Blessings.

Lord God, we ask for the courage, wisdom, and strength to remain silent when facing the spiritual warfare of Conflict. We pray for those who are in abusive homes that they will use their mustard seed faith to be courageous, pray, asking you to deliver them from the satanic bondage of mistreatment. Yet, Lord, you tell us to stand for justice, and we also, in faith, pray this Intercessory Prayer, asking You to deliver your sons and daughters from abusive environments. Lord, we realize that You are Elohim Shomri, our Protector, and You are The Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory, and we believe that You will fulfill Your Promise in Exodus 14:14, and with expectancy, we thank You in advance for deliverance. In faith, we ask this prayer in Jesus’ Name, our Mighty Warrior, Amen!

© 2026 STEPS 2 Success with Spiritual Solutions Ministry

Cultivating a Gentle, Quiet, Christ-Like Spirit

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32).

“Becoming more like Christ [should be] the desire of every believer, and it is encouraging to know that God has the same desire for us.”

How important is it for us to be conformed into the likeness of Jesus Christ? Our character, personality, and how we relate to others matter to God and will determine our destiny.

“In fact, the Bible says that God ‘predestined [believers] to be conformed to the likeness of his Son'” (Romans 8:29, NIV).

God’s Righteous Standards and Goals For Our Character Transformation

1. Hearts filled with Unconditional Love and Forgiveness.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

2. The Fruit of the Spirit is Jesus’ Righteous Character Attributes:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering [patience], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23).

3. A spirit of humility, committed to standing for truth, along with treating others with kindness.

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8, ESV).

4. From Accepting Christ, We Become New People: Our characters should not imitate the characters of unbelievers or reflect their worldviews.

“And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:24-26).

Divine Intervention and Human Effort Are Required for Spiritual Transformation: We cannot change ourselves; it is the Holy Spirit who changes us. Still, we must cooperate with the Holy Spirit to experience spiritual transformation.

God does not override our Free Will of Choice; The Holy Spirit can only change us if we have the desire to be like Christ. With a spirit of humility, we pray and ask God to change our character. And then our battles begin!

The transformation of our character does not happen in the way that we think it would. We will face various types of challenges, and how we react demonstrates whether or not we are cooperating with the Holy Spirit to bring about change.

Reflection: Identify the situations that consistently annoy you, as these will be the trials and temptations that challenge your faith and ability to practice self-control, leading to spiritual transformation.

God has gifted us with self-control. As soon as you feel an emotional response stirring inside of you, remain silent, separate yourself, and pray an honest prayer: “Lord, I am angry, [annoyed, frustrated, anxious], and I need Your help. Please give me the strength to remain silent and calm my spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” (2 Timothy 1:7, Amplified Bible).

We cannot use inherited tendencies or cultural influences to justify the wrongful mistreatment of others with anger and harsh words. We have the God-given ability to control ourselves, or we would not exercise self-control at church and on our jobs.

Although we come from various backgrounds, the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Spirit teach us acceptable Christian Behaviors. Those who possess fiery tempers and abuse others have a demonic stronghold over their minds and will need to add fasting to their daily lives. [Study Matthew 17:14-21].

God knows that we cannot change ourselves without receiving His Divine Strength. It is the Holy Spirit who empowers us with Christ’s strength to overcome unrighteous character traits. Much prayer and fasting are required to gain the victory over inherited traits and learned behaviors.

“I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13). With God, change is possible. Yes, we can have Christ’s gentle, quiet, and humble spirit.

Lord God, we recognize that we desperately need Your help to change. We ask for forgiveness for not controlling our behaviors and for hurting others. Cleanse us from all unrighteousness and fill us with a spirit of gentleness that represents Your love and character. In faith, we ask this prayer, in Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.

© 2026 STEPS 2 Success with Spiritual Solutions Ministry

Love to Debate?

SHOUT THE CRY OF VICTORY 30 Days of Prayer DAY 3

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

Verbal sparring, debating, arguing, spats, and having the mindset, “I am going to say what’s on my mind, or always insisting on having the last word,” is strife. Strife is sin. But there is another category of believers who remain silent, but their thoughts are terrible. Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely. Psalm 139:4. Because God hears our thoughts, unspoken thoughts carry the same weight as spoken words.  

Have you noticed throughout the Bible that God provides instruction on the development of a Christ-like character? Yes, we must do our part [human effort] to achieve daily spiritual growth and transformation [Sanctification]. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us of the traits we possess when we are filled with the Holy Spirit. Our spiritual journey is based on Righteousness by Faith.

Most of us have been involved in a conflict; conflict resolution is utilized in most professional environments. But our conflict resolution differs because we answer to God, and He has specific biblical instructions on how to resolve or prevent controversy.

It is easy to become involved in verbal sparring. Some people love to argue, and it only takes one word to push their “Round One” button. Even so, having an argumentative spirit is not from God. Even worse, may God show us mercy if we are arguing over the Holy scriptures. Link for Bible verses on arguing: https://www.openbible.info/topics/arguing

When you are approached by an angry person (family, friend, coworker), simply walk away. We deserve respect even when we are wrong. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you calm down and pray for the individual. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2. If you are the subject of the argument, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your faults. It is a possibility that the other person is telling the truth. 

Anger is a powerful emotion that eliminates all rational thought processes.

  1. An angry person is too upset to listen or receive your apology. It is not the time to talk. When the situation allows, ask if the two of you can sit down and talk–do not wait until the next day! It takes a lot of negative energy to stay angry. Hopefully, they will calm down. Begin your conversation with, “You are right. I am sorry for ____________, apologize and ask for forgiveness, then ask God for forgiveness.
  2. If you are approached by someone who is not angry, make sure it is the right time and place to discuss the issue.
  3. What about false accusations? Lies are from the bitter fruits of jealousy and resentment, and anger. “The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14

God’s Instruction on asking Him for forgiveness first:

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24

We cannot approach God first and ask for forgiveness before asking the other individual to forgive us. What happens when the person is unwilling to speak to you? We can use our cell phones to text, use FB messenger, or leave a voicemail. If you are on a blocked status, then accept that they have ended the relationship. Reconciling with an individual who desires to hold a grudge and remain angry is beyond our control. Still, we must pray for forgiveness and move forward.

Please keep this in mind: Our tone of voice may have conveyed our emotional state of being stressed. Every day we make intentional or unintentional mistakes, praise God for His mercy. Rid yourself of PRIDE! Give an apology even if the other person was wrong. Showing kindness and remaining humble produces the character that is pleasing to God. After all, we did commit to being a disciple of Jesus Christ. 

For clarification, I believe in zero tolerance for verbal abuse. If you are in an unhealthy and abusive relationship, “get out!” God did not create us in His image to become victims of abuse. What is unhealthy? Put-downs, profanity, sarcasm, being yelled at, and all disrespectful or condescending remarks that attack your self-worth.

Bible study: 2 Timothy 2

Prayer: God, we are often unaware of our displeasing character traits. We ask you to forgive us for having an argumentative spirit and for engaging in or provoking controversy. Please search our hearts and reveal our sins. We pray for the strength to leave situations of abuse. Teach us what true humility is according to your godly standards. We desire to live a peaceful and joyful life and to receive our reward of eternal life. We ask this prayer in the Worthy Name of Jesus. Amen.