Yesterday, I read a poetic narrative of one woman’s journey that included the sadness of disappointment. Her story reflected the bad experiences of many who have endured the heartache of broken relationships. The intentional severing of a relationship can occur between employer and employee, husband and wife, friends, family, and members leaving their church. (Please note that death, which also ends relationships, is not included in this article.)
Breaking bonds with another person or employer always causes an intense emotional reaction. Although it may result in freedom from an unhealthy relationship, let’s face the facts, it still hurts. The immediate response will always be deep-rooted hurt. A hurting heart feels as if you have lost your ability to breathe. Individual reactions may include anger, resentment, and regret; however, if these unhealthy feelings are not controlled, they will grow like weeds in a beautiful bed of flowers. And that is the concern, Cry as often as necessary, but do not let the actions of another individual destroy your ability to love.
If I could have the choice…I would never wish a broken heart for anyone, including myself.
We do have a choice: to live for the present, plan for the future, and involve God, who is the greatest Healer of broken hearts. Whether we are shattered from grief, or at the happiest time in life, we have a spiritual umbilical cord that is connected to God. Because God is Omniscient, all-knowing, our broken heart comes as no surprise to Him. For every challenge that humanity suffers, God has already given us His promise of Divine Intervention.
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Yes, we are devastated, and God knows how we feel because He is the Creator of humanity and the Giver of Unconditional love. I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! Isaiah 65:24. When we are brokenhearted and need comfort, all we have to do is say, “Lord, please help me!”
Healing is a process, and it begins when we ask God for help. Exercising faith and believing in God’s promises unleashes our Heavenly Father’s power for complete recovery. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. James 1:17. God did not create us as fragmented pieces. How do we know this? Consider your mind-body connection; every system and the structure and function of the human body is synchronized to function as a whole. Only God has the capability to take our brokenness and make us whole again. God is our Jehovah Jireh, who takes our mental instability, emotional despair, physical impairments, and lovingly removes all residual effects as if we never experienced sorrow.
Admit that you are grief-stricken, pray, and cry. Take a baby-step, by writing down at least one thing that you are thankful for every day for the rest of your life. Live every day as if it is your last chance for happiness. Do not worry about your future. God has your life in His hands. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:33-34
Please know that many changes happen when relationships are severed. The home and neighborhood you love, the double-income, and having that particular person share your life will probably cease to exist. Continue to pray hourly, be courageous and take the additional steps to move forward. Think about your lifeline, those friends who love and care about you, they are your resources. Please do not get caught up in telling them about the intimate details of your severed relationship. A simple explanation, “We are no longer together,” or “I am no longer working on that job” is enough information.
Maintain your focus by asking for help from friends and family to rebuild your life. Just remember that not everyone can offer financial assistance. If you need to move in 30-60 days, then ask at least 2-3 people for help to look for alternate housing. Research for community resources and continue to always trust in God. We were created to help one another. God never abandons us. He still provides everything that we need to live a healthy and productive life. Just remember the storm cannot and will not last forever.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you go through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;” Isaiah 43:1-3
God, Please help us. Amen.
When life’s problems seem to overpower the soul
And many things happen which we cannot control
With all of our struggles and heavy tasks
Jesus will lighten our burdens if we only ask
How many times in the course of the day?
If we didn’t have suffering would we take time to pray
If we would seek God in sunshine and in rain
He wouldn’t have to remind us by sending pain
In all of our weaknesses He knows what we would do
So, through hard trials we gain strength anew
© Esther Johnson 1997 (My Mother)
© Sonya Johnson Ruiz 2020, No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted for commercial purposes without the written permission of the author.