At the age of 40, I was one of two applicants accepted for the RN nursing program in Upstate New York. I knew that God intervened because I had applied to several nursing programs in New Jersey that replied with provisional acceptance based on a one-two year waiting list. I received my acceptance letter from the Upstate program within two weeks of sending my application. While reading the terms, I was surprised that the starting date only gave me ten weeks to relocate. How would I accomplish this impossible task? The questions of doubt and disbelief flooded my mind. Was this really a blessing from God?
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” Luke 6:6
Knowing that I had a significant decision to make, I was wavering between excitement and fear. The problem was: At the time, I was involved in a beautiful relationship full of love, nurturing, and happiness. Please believe that my significant other did not share my joy when I explained that I was moving four hours away to pursue my educational goal. He extended the offer to move in with him without the pressure of having any financial responsibilities. Then I could attend a program in New York City as a full-time student. My mind was confused. I had a decision to make, which path would I take?
The Spiritual Dilemma
During this romantic involvement, I was not obedient to the will of God, but I had boundaries, “I did not believe in living together.” Since the age of 15, I worked and provided for myself. During our relationship, I never asked for money. Although we were deeply in love, I always knew that we were unequally yoked. Not because of the lack of respect, love, or his generous spirit, he did not believe in marriage or worshiping God.
According to the world’s standards, he was a good man who worked hard and was financially savvy. He owned a beautiful condo and possessed financial wealth, but God was never as much as an after-thought. I was only told his story from the rise from rags-to-riches one time. Because he gave himself full credit for his accumulation of wealth due to his rational and logical financial strategies, I was unable to mention God to maintain a peaceful existence.
Yes, I was living the life that many have only dreamed of, but I was caught in the web of compromise. Would I be willing to give up the lifestyle of the rich but not famous? Perplexed by this dilemma, like the prodigal son, “I came to my senses.” Even in my fallen, prodigal stage, there was still a God in heaven that I believed in, and that belief brought me to my knees.
“For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,” says the LORD, “plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 AMP
God revealed his answer by allowing a smooth transition from being gainfully employed in New Jersey to relocating to Upstate New York and living in my apartment as an unemployed student nurse. God provided scholarships and grants to provide for me financially. Upon graduation, I was hired as one of the first graduate nurses in a pilot program to work in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I obeyed and followed God’s plan, completed the nursing program, and worked as a Registered Nurse for many years.
Twenty-two years have passed since I was faced with the choice of obeying God’s plan or following selfish desires. When we commit to serve God, we also commit to total obedience. Without love, faith, and trust in God, we fall back to our previous habits of self-reliance. Have you noticed that trials and tribulations regularly test us? God is not trying to destroy us. He desires that we stop making mistakes by trusting in our abilities. So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. 1 Peter 1:14
Facing dilemmas may never end. Even so, life with God provides the blessings of peace despite our circumstances. Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5. Ask yourself, “how do you view God?” Can you put aside your doubt and fears, pray, and wait for God’s divine intervention to resolve your circumstances? Reflect on the impossible situations that you have faced. You did all that you could do, yet, nothing worked out. When you least expected it, God rained down blessings, unleashed His mighty power, and you received a miracle.
The Amplified Bible: Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
I share this testimony because someone is facing a dilemma. You believe in God, but your mind is wavering between conflicting thoughts and actions. Pray and believe: Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me? Jeremiah 32:27
Pray and confess:
I need God’s peace to transform the way I view my current situation.
I need God’s peace to remind me that God is always in control.
I need God’s peace to guard my mind against anxious thoughts.
God, we thank you for being our Jehovah-Jireh (provider). We ask for your Divine Intervention in our lives and the peace that only you can provide. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
© Sonya Johnson Ruiz 2021, No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted for commercial purposes without the author’s written permission.