“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’ ” —1 Corinthians 15:33
“You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly” (Deuteronomy 7:3-4, ESV).
The roaring lion [Satan] is using various methods of temptation to lure us into the trap of meeting “Unbelieving Believers.” What? Many people believe that God exists, but they have not consecrated their lives to follow The Shepherd, Jesus Christ, with surrender and faithful obedience.
In the area of relationships, the Chasm of Compromise has grown wider and deeper in the Christian Community. Let’s face it, the life of a believer often involves traveling on the journey with Jesus without close friends, romance, or marriage. Wait on the Lord!
The Enticement: Online chats and Christian dating sites are not God’s ways to meet friends, nor are these God’s methods for finding husbands and wives. And today’s Christians can no longer assume that those attending church have surrendered their hearts to Christ. The churches are filled with ritualistic worshipers who practice sin seven days a week.
If you are thinking, “Times have changed,” then you do not understand Satan’s powerful and effective methods to separate us from God. The enemy exploits vulnerable individuals to execute his malicious schemes. We are often approached by unbelievers who appear to fulfill our desires to have close friends, dating partners, and marriages that are not God approved.
Like Eve, we are being deceived. Why is it so easy for Satan to deceive us? God’s Answer: “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
The fallen angel has 6,000-plus years of experience dealing with human nature. King Solomon tells us that there is nothing new under the Sun. Our senses, especially our eyes and ears, are the channels that Satan uses to successfully deceive us.
“And Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she pleases me well’ ” (Judges 14:3). The Bait: If the individual is pleasing to our eyes, and their words sound like music to our ears, then Satan has us hooked.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
We are so accustomed to using our senses and emotions to make decisions that very few Christians use their rational thought processes (sound mind) when meeting new people who spark an internal desire. Keep your spiritual guard up!
Met someone at the Mall, Supermarket, or Library? Immediately focus your conversation on God. Verbalize this statement: “Jesus Christ is number one in my life.” I attend (Name of your church). Where do you attend church?
Observe their spoken words, habits, behaviors, clothing, and social circle, especially if they are with friends. Worldliness cannot be hidden! If they practice the world views of pleasure, prosperity, and success, then you know their character is unholy.
“…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7
Do not make hasty decisions! Stop, Pray, and Ask God if He sent the person. Do not exchange cell numbers! Desperation is the precursor to downfalls. If God is involved, be patient; He will direct the individual to your life again. The Bible reveals that one of God’s Characteristics is that He is never in a hurry.
Studying the Bible gives us God’s instructions and a spiritual point of reference before engaging in relationships. Samson and King Solomon are profound examples of suffering the consequences of having liaisons with unbelievers. Do not trust your feelings!
“Do not be wise in your own eyes” (Proverbs 3:7). Unless God chooses our friends and spouses, we will choose the wrong person [people] who will lead us away from God.
Never follow your heart! Always pray and wait before choosing friends and romantic relationships. The Holy Spirit always reveals when people are not part of God’s plans for your life.
“Be Holy, for I am Holy.” (1 Peter 1:16).
A True Believer has nothing in common with those who do not put God first. We often assume that the unbeliever or uncommitted believer will eventually change, but it is the believer who changes by embracing worldly habits.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17).
What can we do when we have already exchanged numbers, started dating, or engaged, but the internal Red Flag of “Something Isn’t Right” creates a spiritual unrest in our hearts?
We have a protective Heavenly Father who does not desire that we fall into temptation, or remain in a relationship that separates us from Him.
The Holy Spirit warns us that we are in a Spiritually Incompatible relationship, regardless of the stage of dating. Yet, God respects our free will choice to ignore His warning.
- Beginning Stages: Chatting but never met. Or, 1-2 dates, still an uncommitted status.
- Agreed Commitment: Dating exclusively only with each other, without engaging in sexual immorality. This is the ideal situation if God has placed the person in your life. But eventually, if seeking romance online, it will end in disaster.
- Consensual Commitment with Physical involvement: Fornication immediately separates us from God. The believer has forfeited their relationship with Christ and holds the same spiritual status as the unbeliever—both are lost.
- Long-term with Regret: Not married. You know this person is not a gift from God, but you feel that you are too deep into the relationship to get out. Sexually involved, may have children with the partner, or be living together.
Scenarios 1-2 Guidelines: “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22, ESV).
Searching online for romance demonstrates a lack of faith in God or disobedience to God’s answer of No! It is too easy for Satan to use people who create a fake persona. A Holy and Righteous God is Not found in Chat Rooms and on Dating Sites.
Scenario 3-4 Guidelines: “For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5, ESV).
Sexual immorality places us in a lose-lose situation. Not married, move out. Children? Financial support is required. Yes, it’s a tough decision and may involve legal issues, but if marriage is not an option, save your soul by living a celibate life alone.
Sin always has serious consequences. Pray, fast, and seek Divine guidance and strength.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” —Jeremiah 29:11
For diehard pro online romance seekers who listen to others praise their current relationships and marriages, and the true love they found on dating sites, are in the honeymoon stage, when secrets are still secrets. Some are paid to promote the sites, and others have had to compromise God’s righteous values for their relationships to work out. Go with God!
Certain sins place us in bondage to Satan: Sexual immorality, drug and alcohol use, gambling, pornography, stealing, and overeating. Sexual immorality comes with heavy-duty chains; it weakens our resolve and causes us to compromise in every area of our lives. Yet, if we repent and exercise self-control, the power of God cleanses us from all unrighteousness. God restores!
“For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight…”—Psalm 51:3-4
The goal of restoration is to recommit one’s life to live holy, and reconnect us to Christ. God honors our willingness to live a pure, obedient life. Yes, we can receive Jesus’ supernatural strength to overcome all temptation, still, we must put forth the human effort to renounce and walk away from the demonic activities that bind us to Satan.
We must never forget that we inherited sinful hearts. Our greatest daily battle is the internal conflict of choosing right over wrong. From searching the Scriptures, we learn why God’s Righteous Standards for separating from unbelievers are life-saving commands.
Reflection: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:1-2).
We will never fall into temptations and suffer consequences if we live a sacrificial life of trusting God’s plans. God is Omniscient—All-knowing. Yes, God knows who will finish the Spiritual Race and receive eternal life. He also knows who will follow the desires of their hearts and leave their relationship with Jesus Christ for the temporary gratification of relationships with unbelievers.
Certainly, God was disappointed when Adam and Eve chose to sin against Him. Our Heavenly Father’s original plan was not for us to be alone, but because of sin, we live in a fallen world.
Not every believer will have the opportunity to enjoy marriage or close friendships. We accept our Father’s will, consecrate ourselves to God, and trust His perfect plans.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” —Romans 8:28
Jesus described Himself as a Man of Sorrows. Yes, loneliness is a valid feeling. Forming relationships with immoral individuals is not the solution. Do we have too much empty time with nothing to do but focus on ourselves?
Every believer has received spiritual gifts and talents that God expects us to use to witness. If we do nothing for God, then our hearts will drive us to sin against God.
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Matthew 16:26, NLT).
Not one relationship on this Earth is worth losing our reward of eternal life over. Satan, our enemy, knows his time is short, so he uses people to distract us from fully dedicating ourselves to Christ.
We must decide between choosing sinful relationships or aligning ourselves with God’s Perfect Plans for our lives. God, the Father, and God, Jesus Christ, the Son, have fulfilled their roles in offering humanity the Plan of Redemption, which frees us from the curse of sin.
Keep your eyes on the Eternal prize of inheriting a forever life in the New Heaven and New Earth.
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4)
Our present lives are temporary. If we just hold on, Jesus has promised the faithful and obedient believers a Crown of life in the New Heaven and New Earth, where we will never be alone or lonely.
Wait on God, and with faith accept His Perfect Plans for your life. The King Is Coming! Yes and Amen!
Lord God, we ask you to comfort the hearts of your sons and daughters who are experiencing loneliness and discouragement. Give them the strength to redirect their focus to fulfilling their spiritual assignments, and to look forward to receiving Your wonderful reward of Eternal Life in the New Heaven and New Earth. In Jesus’ Holy Name, we pray, Amen.
© 2025 STEPS to Success with Spiritual Solutions Ministry










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